“What is peace?”
Those words echo through my mind in my mother’s voice, in the pitch black of my bedroom. It is something that she often asked me everyday. Now as a young child I would answer with foolish things but I never really thought about it till now I guess. I’ve been laying here for hours thinking about those words, my mind often wandering to my mother’s kind face and her sweet sounding voice that I would kill to hear again but then my mind snaps back and those words form in my head again. I roll over and look at the glowing red numbers from my alarm clock, it hurts my eyes at first but they adjust so I can read: 4:47 am. I didn’t sleep at all last night, my mind was too busy. I sit up and I feel antsy so I stand up throw on clothes and grab my phone and earphones and run out the door. Mornings like this are perfect. There is no one alive in the world yet, and I think this is peace. I’ve always liked the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me of who I am supposed to be, so it is easier to remember who I am. I feel free from judgement and society in this early morning. Jogging down one of the many streets filled with trees planted right on the edge of everyone’s yards to give that beautiful look of trees hanging over the streets, everything looks like it was copied and pasted into place. I have to admit it does give a pretty illusion but if everything looks the same how do you tell the difference between things. I run until the sun starts to rise and my heart drops a little. The sun brings the beginning of the day and with that the teaching of society starts. It’s like the sun awakens everything wrong with this world. Isn’t the sun supposed to be cheerful, bright, a symbol of happiness? So why do I blame the sun for everything? I suppose it is the easiest thing to blame, it’s not like it can defend itself. Does that make me a bully? My mind wanders too much. By now I have run down to main street and the world has began to come alive. Shop owners busy themselves with their morning routine getting ready to open. It’s like watching robots on a program, I wonder if they do something out of the ordinary they’ll reboot. It is possible I suppose. Everyone from a young age is programmed to think and act the same way even if we don’t recognize it. It’s quite a terrifying thought isn’t it, that everyone believes they have a free will but they actually don’t. It makes me sad to watch everyone in their set routine, so I turn on my heel and run back home. At least I can escape from the societal pressured world. I guess I’ll have to wait till tomorrow morning before the early light of dawn. That’s where I’ll find peace.
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AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
May 2018
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